The Cheeky Cunt

Reports have been flying in lately about a rude urchin hanging around the sewers entrance. He isn't new, we've seen this kid with the likes of Keith and other sewer gremlins, all with the same urge to pickpocket and take what isn't theirs to take. However, this urchin in specific has been terrorising females yelling at them to get undressed, and to "get your tits out" etc. 

From this, we decided to investigate further and bring this urchin inside for an interview. He refused at the beginning but was forced to comply through a BnKattle Prod to the neck.

Coming around, the urchin fixates his eyes onto Cronus who is sitting opposite him. Without a moments hesitation the urchin speaks. "Chee-ee Kant is my name, nice to meet ya'!" He giddily reaches his hand out for a shake. Ragged sleeves dangle loose and his fingerless gloves looked overly worn out. His face carried such hope for somebody like this... "Sorry, the name?" Cronus asks. 'It's Chee-ee Kant,' he replies quickly, shaking Cronus' hand eventually, and then sitting back down.

"Cheeky Cunt? You're not serious?" 'Aye. My parents were assholes.' He ruffles into his jacket pocket and pulls out a squared up piece of paper. His birth certificate, and rightly so it said: Name: Cheeky Cunt.

"Well. Cheeky Cunt. We've had complaints. You know why." 'Aye. Been a little frisky I have, it won't happen again.' Cronus shakes his head in agreement and continues. "Short and sweet. I like it. -- Why the name Cheeky Cunt?" 'My father has the same name. I guess it's tradition, but I vowed to never marry anybody, ever. The name dies with me y'see, and I am the last Chee-ee Kant there is. I'm a damn good one, too.' He smiles and stands from the chair, giggling as he leaves the office. 

Cronus tuts and reaches for his fountain pen. This kid was just another bum like No-Teeth Keith he thought, though more daring. More mischievous.

Blindly fumbling around the pot of pens, Cronus fails to find his fountain pen. It just wasn't there, alongside a couple of pencils and a marker pen. Frustrated, Cronus yanks the drawer open and finds a replacement biro. Swinging back to the desk he reaches for the folder titled 'sewer urchin' - but it wasn't there. Cronus pauses and stares at the doorway, burning into it with eyes of anger... "That cheeky CUNT!!"