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Mr. Fuck Off in all his glory.


A new creature has been released in The Mansion. Again, there was no warning with Mr. Fuck Off - so we've had to prepare for 'anything', the usual and best technique any Mansioner should learn.

He was designed by Scientist Frederick Gollsbourg, expert in the field of the Paranormal. Frederick created Mr. Fuck Off to appear in any and all reflections, through windows and in mirrors and the creepiest thing - he watches you when you sleep just in case you open your eyes. His face is ALWAYS as it is pictured. If you happen to catch eye contact with Mr. Fuck Off he won't leave you alone, ever. Anything he can get his face in - he will.

Eugene is currently under the haunt of Mr. Fuck Off, he says that he can't do anything without seeing that "creepy as Hell" face. In the reflection of his knife and fork, Eugene states constantly being watched by him when he's eating. Eugene also told us when he was putting in his left-eye contact this morning, he saw Mr. Fuck Off in his own eyeball reflection. He flinched and poked himself in the eye, to which he heard a manic laughter followed by, "now fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off".

Eugene keeps trying to 'fuck off' but Mr. Fuck Off won't allow him to. There is one other guest, Guest #701 currently staying in the Apartments of Delights who reported waking up in the night because she heard her apartment door slam. She knew she was alone, she knew somebody had entered her room. Guest #701 sat up in her BuNKbed and checked the clock on the bedside table: 04:10AM. She rubbed her eyes and walked to the bathroom. She opened the door and came to an instant stop as Mr. Fuck Off was latched onto the sink, masturbating violently with that giant smile on his face. Mr. Fuck Off begins to shout fuck OFF! .. fuck OFF only shouting on the 'off' and spitting heavily as he said the 'f'. #701 screams and backs away slamming the door. The handle begins to throttle and shake under her hands, it seemed bigger and stronger than what she saw on the sink. She looks around at the front door and thinks about a timely escape. Her gut takes her. The second she turns to run Mr. Fuck Off grabs her ankle. She panics! Her heart beats stronger! She looks down at her feet and sees that huge grin and dark eyes, his face suddenly wobbles in a weird manner - then his jaw unhinges. It makes a deep cracking and wet sound. He then begins to devour her exactly like a Snake would.

Guest #701 has been surgically removed from Mr. Fuck Off's stomach and now lives in Mirror Room Nynty-Nyne where she will be haunted by him forever.