Sir Bean

The comedic character Mr. Bean was actually based on a very similar looking paedophile and sick, sick monster Sir Bean: a Mathematics Teacher at Fallside Primary School.

Sir Bean had his own way of teaching, and though the kids still learnt in his lessons, they also suffered from a disturbing technique he liked to call the ''Willy Smear'' amongst other techniques involving urinating, dabbing, poking and stroking, Sir Bean was a nightmare Teacher to have and he reigned in this position for a shocking 6 years. Records show he touched, fondled or urinated on at least 150 children. At most, 300 but we cannot confirm this.

Willy Smear

Sir Bean would ask a kid a question, a tricky Maths question that at the age of 8-11 would be impossible for a kid to answer correctly. If the kid happened to answer incorrectly, Sir Bean would walk up to the kid and lean over their desk looking them right in the eyes. He would ask the other children to close their eyes - and they would. Meanwhile, Sir Bean would remove his small, old and grizzled penis, make himself erect at the look of the kids face and proceed to 'smear' his bellend across the kids forehead. In a left-to-right motion, to finally allowing it to flop or 'slap' the kid across the face for being incorrect. Then, quickly replacing his penis he will ask the other children to open their eyes to proceed as if nothing ever happened.


The same procedure of a child answering incorrectly, only this one was for everybody to see. To allow such a horror to be acceptable, he would ask the other kids to join in with him in a group circle with the child in the wrong sat in the middle, to then pissing all over the kid's face, body - anything. Eyes, mouth, nose, hair... A multiple fountain of streaming hot yellowy and white urine, crossing streams together and drenching the wronged child.

Dabbing, poking and stroking

Not nearly the strangest thing Sir Bean would perform, but definitely the creepiest. In the Stock Room at the back of the classroom would dabbing, poking and stroking commence. At one time would 3 pupils be in the Stock Room with Sir Bean in which he would strip the kids off and dab his willy on them, poke them with it in various areas (mainly the bellybutton, for unknown reasons) and stroke it across their face slowly, whispering things to them and tightly groping their hair/heads sensually as he does so.

Sir Bean now resides at The Mansion of Delights with our very own disturbing Walton. They have a lot in common and therefore are happy together, teaming up against any and all ages. If you know how to stay safe, staying away from these 2 would be a great start.