The Johnny Deppths

Deep within The Mansion lies a creepy hole that has emerged out of nowhere. The underground segment of the Sewers that had been closed down in 1991 is where this hole exists and had been discovered by treasure-hunter Harry Phelps during his search for an old relic that supposedly lies beneath the foundations of The Mansion.

The relic is of no importance to what lies within this hole: Golden Globe and multi-award winning actor Johnny Depp, known for his ability to portray many different acting roles including the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as Willy Wonker, and most famously Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Carribean.

However, Johnny just isn't the same as we've seen him before. Once a beautiful man with a nation of people that would bed him instantaneously, he now lives alone deep within his hole that he calls 'The Johnny Deppths' allowing his beard to grow manically from his face and with eyes so bagged its as if he hasn't slept in years. The stench coming from the hole is putrid shit and urine - a real grubby-pub gentleman's toilet stench that wafted up and out into the cool air of the closed down Sewers. The smell from The Johnny Deppths mixes with the Sewers which is why we haven't yet discovered his living arrangements.

Why has Johnny abandoned his life to live in this hole? We interviewed him on the subject after a painstaking series of attacks on our safety team from Johnny himself, who later told us was startled from the sudden entry of other lifeforms. Two years Johnny has lived down in the hole.

"It's everything. All of it. You. The fans. All of it." He spoke in a soft whisper not looking anybody in the eye, and barely moving out of the Deppths. "Captain Jack. Mort Rainey. Edward Scissorhands.....Which was your favourite?" Johnny raised his finger and pointed at the interviewer. His arm cracked at the elbow followed by his wrist which seemed to look permanently damaged in some way. "Uhh, I'd guess Edwa-" replied the interviewer, cut short of finishing his answer as Johnny freakishly squirms from his hole and pulls him deep into the Deppths. 

Gunshots were fired but none hit Johnny due to the sheer speed he manuevered at. Screams from the interviewer shriek from the Deppths and just like from a horror movie, blood squirts violently up as if sprayed from a water gun - followed by the interviewers head, and then piece by piece from legs, arms to torso the body flew out and smashed sloppily onto the ground. Moments later, Johnny pops up from the Deppths and says, "Heeeeere's Johnny!" The safety team, now out of bullets from their 4-chambered pistols all leave accordingly, scattering from the Sewers as Johnny slithers out after them. His body is elongated, pale and his ribs are almost pushing through his sides, aswell as his hips which had actually began to live without skin around the bone. The penis was nonexistent and the use of his spinal chord seemed slack as Johnny travelled on all 4s. No longer whispering, Johnny shouts "Aren't you gonna finish my interview?" Laughing hysterically and mumbling the quote 'Here's Johnny' over and over again. He liked using that though the quote didn't belong to him.

Sighing and calming down from the recent events, Johnny slivers toward the interviewer and collects the separate body parts. He does this patiently and with procedure knowing he has done this many times before. He then discards the body parts into The Johnny Deppths, sets it alight and sits back in his home. He inhales the aroma of the burning flesh, enjoying it the same as a bouquet of flowers.