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A packet of Ula Ewpz' famous Hula Hoops.

About 'Ula Ewpz'Edit

Ula Ewpz is Human. The 'original' Original flavour maker of his spoof-named snack Hula Hoops.

Ula lived alone and had done all his life. Aged 52, he began making potato based crisps of all kinds in his private Farmhouse he had that he owned on desolate lands. Only a helicopter and a private driver knew of Ula Ewpz's Farmhouse and this driver would deliver the Hula Hoops within 5 separate journeys. 5 huge crates carried on the underneath of the helicopter containing 600 packets each. The money would be transfered into his bank account automatically - money Ula never spent.

Ula Ewpz is a black farmer, a heavy-set man who was also a virgin. He had your average farm with cows, goats, dogs for herding and horses that would chomp away at the fresh lawn. However, there was one difference with this farm that others never had: Human bodies.

In a standard packet of original Hula Hoops there are 127 calories (6%), 6.6g fat (9%) and 0.5g salt (8%). With it being a fresh farm-made snack, made with 100% sunflower oil, no MSG and no artificial flavours or colourings, this could only mean one thing: Ula Ewpz would cook this snack with parts of the Human body.

Test results show clear evidence of teeth, gums and stomach lining. Colouring of the snack is Caucasian skin mixed with semen and saliva. The salty taste is natural sea salt with a combination of feet skin from only females. The Sunflower oil used is mixed with blood (15%), tears (4%), and also human poo (2%).

Ula still makes this snack for people all over the Earth. The next time you have some Hula Hoops, think of Ula Ewpz